Reverence for life

standing for peace

2012-01-16T12:30:00.000-08:00

My spirit pricks its ears to the sound. People all over the world have raised their voice. They speak in city squares. Their protests topple governments, expel dictators, call for fairness and cry for equality.

In Tunisia, it started with one man, Mohamed Bouazizi. He set himself on fire in protest. That one sacrificial act led to what is now being called the Arab Spring. The offspring “occupy” movement has spread to Europe and the US. as the discontentment of young, middle class, educated citizens inspires them to gather and to be heard.

I applaud them and I worry that the outcomes may not be as noble as their intentions. Their pleas are for justice. Justice leads to equality and freedom. Perhaps peace will follow. Peace is not an easy road. But it is peace that will free men, women and children to live their lives without fear.

Women in Liberia found their voice after thirteen years of violent brutal war. One of their leaders, Leymah Gbowee recently won the Nobel Peace Prize for her work in her native country. She rallied women to stand silently in a field, wearing white, day after day to make the world notice. They were tired of being victims of war. Their silent peaceful acts forced leaders to bring an end to war in Liberia. You can read her story in Mighty Be Our Powers: How Sisterhood, Prayer, and Sex Changed a Nation at War.

A small book (41 pages) I read over and over again is The Great Silent Grandmother Gathering by Sharon Mehdi. A story for anyone who thinks she can't save the world. My favorite line is on page 2, “And there they stood.”

There is incredible power in women's wisdom. It begins right where we stand. The outcome is Peace.

Ms Gbowee said on December 30, 2011 “For one night at midnight, a cacophony of New Year’s resolutions deafen the earth. This year, I will be silent and let my actions will into existence what my lips cannot.”

January 2012 looking at 1967

2012-01-09T09:58:00.000-08:00

In January we take stock of our year. We look at the blessings and disasters. How much is resolved ? Could we have made better decisions? I feel like I remained a hostage to life's events since July. But it is a new year and I have new resolve ...maybe it is more like hope on the wing.

The years are chapters in the stories of our lives. Here is one early chapter from my life.

In January 1967 I was 18, married for 7 months and a new mother of a 2 month old boy. The cute little house we were renting became too expensive to heat that winter so we moved into the house my in-laws had vacated to live "in town". The house in rural South Dakota did have electricity. It had a wood stove but no seasoned wood had been cut, the septic system wasn't working. A dead mouse had tainted the water so we had to haul drinking water.

So there I found myself, young, isolated and alone most of the time. In my effort to use the wood stove, smoke billowed into the house more often than I care to admit. We had to use the outhouse. We hauled water. My husband left every day for his 12 mile commute which seemed like 100 miles away. There was no car for me to venture out. The phone only worked for incoming calls. We had a black and white television with one channel. All of my friends were attending college classes and dating. I spent my winter days nurturing my baby boy ( he was a happy healthy little guy), reading when he napped, cleaning...Oh how I cleaned.

I tell my story, not describe a hardship but because I got through it! At the time I didn't know that the challenges I faced would make me strong. We took each day as it came.

We all do that. An event forces us to veer off our path. We choose to sit right down to wallow or get up and take a step. And then another. Take heart, the years write our story, make it a good read.

swallowed by a whale

2011-08-15T12:11:00.000-07:00

I feel like life swallowed me whole a few months ago. Thank goodness I wasn't digested bone by bone. As with Jonah in the belly of the whale, I will emerge one day and move on.

One of my laments is that I crave alone time. And I do not get enough of it. I miss the sense of space to be simple, to think, to read a book, to gather myself once more into a cocoon where I am all there is. To me time by myself is a luxury. There hasn't been much of that for a long long time.

Calling it a luxury is a relative term. I know of people who have too much time to reflect. They hunger for connections and interruptions.

So, is all about balance? Or is it about being grateful for the plate we have in front of us?

Here's a thought...my whale is my sense of responsibility. I have to think about this some more. Thanks for allowing me to wallow. Help!

Leaves, rocks, feathers

2011-06-19T14:19:00.000-07:00

I opened one of my old journals today. A pressed leaf from last years poinsettia almost fell out. It had maintained it's size, turned from bright red to a rich burgundy and is actually much prettier than before.
I just can't resist slipping a rose petal or a fall maple leaf between two unsuspecting pages. And it is always a treat to come upon one of those treasures when I least suspect it.
My pseudo scavenging habit takes other forms. I have a tray with heart shaped rocks that I have discovered over time during walks. Most will fit into the palm of my hand. Lying there together, their complimentary colors that span the grays and beiges of the color wheel, pull you over to admire and even hold one or two.
Well there are others bowls of stones in my home. Just can't not pocket one here and there. I will stop and handle one and know that it is a good one to bring home with me.
Another joy I bring home from outdoor jaunts is feathers. Every size and color find their way into a box or a vase or used as a bookmark. Once one floated down and landed on my jacket. At another time there were two turkey feathers lying next to my car in LaConnor, WA. of all places.
For me, these gifts that appear at my feet are my reward for letting go of the everyday fuss. It actually becomes an adventure when I step out my door...who know what might be found.Once residing in my house they become reminders on gloomy days when I can't get out. I win
My granddaughter is best at it. I was coaxing her into going for a walk with me. I finally convinced her that we were going to look for diamonds. A few blocks later I spotted a coin lying in the road. "Look, a nickel!" She wasn't interested...she was searching for diamonds, after all.

May starts with giving

2011-05-02T14:21:00.000-07:00

To celebrate May 1st as a child, my friends and I would create paper baskets...construction paper rolled into a cone shape and filled with flowers. Then we would go up to our neighbors doors, hang the "basket of flowers" on their doorknob, knock and then run and hide.

It was thrilling to watch them find the flowers and look around to discover the giver.

Now I realize those were my first experiences in giving anonymously. It was pure pleasure and still is.

Amy Krouse Rosenthal describes the same thrill in her book "Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life". She suggests leaving spare change somewhere for someone to find. She adds a note telling them to take it if they need it and then to do the same for someone else someday.

not like we thought

2011-03-26T14:14:00.000-07:00

I was restored after spending a few hours with good friends last night. There was laughter, tears and encouraging words. I am always inspired by these courageous and compassionate women. We come from different backgrounds and experiences, yet are kindred souls. To each other we reveal the layers of our days and marvel at the unanticipated, unplanned situations we find ourselves in.

On the drive home, as I contemplated our stories, the words floated across my mind, " Life wasn't supposed to be like this".

Our hopes and dreams are like birds perched on tree limbs, ready to take flight. But wait, here comes a bigger bird! Hang on, close your eyes, and hold your breath as the shadow passes. Exhale, open you eyes to a life that has changed.

I don't know if this is true, I read somewhere that when birds sleep their claws instinctively tighten around the branch so they won't fall. I think that when we humans get tossed or threatened we grab hold with our hearts. And that alone changes us, which brings change to someone else. And so it goes.

Back to my thought from last night. We think we have it all figured out, but that is an illusion. Things don't work out the way we thought they would. So then we have to decide, flap the wings for forward living or free fall into the muck at the bottom of this tree called life.

Whatever you choose, look for the good and acknowledge it. Sometimes that is all we can do.Thank you.

dream on

2011-02-13T14:40:00.000-08:00

I am a dreamer of dreams. If I am not dreaming I am not sleeping. Some are terrifying, others are the warm and fuzzy kind.

If dreams have a purpose, what would that be? Do dreams prepare & warn us for times ahead? Or are they simply an indicator of the condition of our subconscious?

An interpreter will tell me the meaning of me in a car hurling down a road in the sky without brakes. Well, my life is a bit out of my control, I admit. Or why the vivid colors last night have similar content to a dream two weeks ago that was in shades of gray!

We are advised to take notes about our dreams as soon as we wake. Do I really want to know? I am usually just grateful to wake up and discover that I really didn't lose my purse or that the bathroom toilet and plumbing work just fine.

worry or pray

2011-01-23T15:18:00.000-08:00

I can't remember where I read this. " You can either pray or worry. You can't do both---worry maintains your wish to control; prayer surrenders control and trusts in your God."

I admit it! I want to control something, someone somewhere. But it is not to be. And I admit to tossing and turning at night, thoughts compete as in a relay race, passing the baton from one to the next. As I lay my head on the pillow and turn out the light I start to pray...and then I give God advice on the best way to answer that prayer.

Albert Einstein said "...the most appropriate response to life is "sacred awe'." He is so right. Just now I let the word awe spin around in my brain and my body started to relax. I am going to focus on that three letter word today and tonight. Thank you AE.

getting through January

2010-12-22T17:33:00.000-08:00

"What it takes to get through January is what it takes to get through LIFE." Vivian Swift
It is a new year! yay. A clean calendar.
There is that let down. No more hustle and bustle, no more parties, box up those the decorations, time to get back to dailiness. Days of storms and the color gray. Resolutions forgotten, income taxes become reality.
I am not going to sugar coat it...hmmm sugar IS one coping mechanism but then you feel like you need to diet.
But you can do it! I can do it! What is your favorite color? Paint your days with it.

'tis the season

2010-12-22T17:01:00.000-08:00

It is officially winter! I celebrate the shortest day of 2010....now there will be an increase in natural light each and every day.

On the heels of winter's first fierce hours we embrace the giving season, goodwill toward man, glory and grace. I love all of those "g"words. They bring me joy.

I am hanging onto the bumper of life as it careens down the road. What a thrill! Today I can say I find joy and peace in the ebb and flow of my days and nights. I can handle whatever comes my way!

Not so two days ago; I was completely undone. Time to think and plan had not presented itself... I was a deflated balloon caught by the wind. Thanks to a couple nights sleep and time for me, I am a new woman...it takes so little to anchor me once more. Here I go again!

This is my chance to say Merry Christmas! I believe and find comfort in the story of a babe, a star, Kings and shepherds.

Saying thank you

2010-11-28T14:27:00.000-08:00

My very favorite holiday is now behind us. Love the food. (I even buy a range free turkey even though I am meatless. Sometimes connections are more important than convictions). I cook this meal with love despite the fact that I seldom cook anymore. My home exuded the aroma of cinnamon and sage, yams and pumpkin, potatoes and gravy....hearty bounty.

The family gathers and we just enjoy each other. No gifts, no pressure, it isn't about anyone!

It is a chance, a reminder, to take a look at life and say thank you. A small thing to do and while there isn't a monetary value, gratitude is priceless. Something wonderful bounces from the giver to the heart of the recipient and back again. Isn't that what it is all about?

To honor an uncle

2010-11-28T14:07:00.000-08:00

Passing from this world to the next is bittersweet for those of us left behind. We will miss my uncle so much but he just couldn't stay any longer. His departure was peaceful. Now we who remain must pick up the pieces.

In small ways perhaps, we can honor his memory.

He was generous and so we can give from our own hearts and convictions.
He was a proud American and we can behave as fortunate citizens.
He served his country, we can say thank you to the next serviceman or woman we meet.
He loved, can we do less than show compassion to those that exist in our small daily lives?
He had a sense of humor so let us promote laughter.

Thank goodness for hospice

2010-11-08T20:38:00.000-08:00

Thank goodness for Hospice.

In four short months someone I love has met with life changing health problems. It was decided recently that he would be more comfortable at home thus the services of hospice.

There aren't enough words to describe their compassionate pragmatism. It will be easier now because of them. The end will be what it is but now he is in good hands.
http://www2.providence.org/kingcounty/facilities/providence-hospice-of-seattle/Our-Services/Pages/default.aspx

and http://www.ginasangels.net/services.html

Not that it is easy, as any of you who have watched someone you love become less vital and more in need of help. Passages.

I have also learned about having proper records ...organized, ready to go. Searching through someone elses papers is a journey of it's own.

2010-10-25T20:39:00.000-07:00

"The spiritual path is simply the journey of living our lives. Everyone is on a spiritual path; most people just don't know it." Marianne Williamson

There are days when being on a spiritual path is the last thing on my mind. I may have the concept stored in a brain cell but forgot to pay attention. I am thinking that the times I am feeling the most depleted and empty are those days when I was not present and mindful. I was still on the path but took a useless detour around. I got lost and tired...directly related to each other?

There are moments when I remember for an instant, then I lose track of the mundane and irritating (I can always return to it, if I must). Mindfulness is restorative.

Don't try too hard, but try it!

August travels

2010-09-26T11:03:00.000-07:00

The fact that my last post was July 23rd has weighed on me. I have missed the process of verbalizing thoughts, humble as they may be. Yes, I do this for myself. But I take great delight to think that someone out there would take a moment in their busy day to read my words. I would be in awe if any of my musings made a difference for the better for any of those readers.

Since July I struggled with time...my friend, my challenger, my measure.

In August I travelled to my origins for a week. I was blessed to see the faces of my family, to hear their voices as they shared their daily lives. And to breathe the air that I doubt is replicated in any other region of this country. My dad shared family history and photos. Mom was open to the adventure of the day.

Thanks to the brother who opened his home to me. And to another who walked a few miles by my side so that I could get some exercise. Sis reopened my heart to the need for creativity and generosity. Every single person of my family touched me and made a difference in me.

Thank you all for a memorable week. I miss you all terrribly. (i miss being pampered, too)

Pandora's hope

2010-09-26T10:58:00.000-07:00

There are many variations on the myth/story of Pandora. I offer no additional thoughts. I reread the story and was so surprised by a fact I did not know. Yes, Pandora opened a box (symbolic, I guess) and out flew hate, anger, sickness, poverty, and every bad thing in the world. What I didn't know was, HOPE also flew out.

I am a big fan of hope. It is one of the staples in my cupboard for survival. My eyes seek it in-between the lines of all that is without hope. I am seldom disappointed, because it is always within reach, hovering, waiting to be noticed and held. I confess that I carry a piece of hope in my pocket...along with a tissue and the note of the day...kind of like carrying armor "just in case".

Marvel at the fact that hope accompanies hate, anger, sickness and poverty. It survives to comfort us and to remind us that bad things come. Those same bad things have no defense in the face of hope...they flee and hope stays.

not meant for solution

2010-07-23T12:59:00.000-07:00

It has been suggested to me that not all problems are meant to be solved. That we can walk around obstacles obstructing our way rather than moving the obstacle itself. That troubles are often the product of behaviour over time.

So I need to give this some thought. In earlier years I had the energy and determination and belief that I had to "do something" in order to overcome my troubles. What if I had simply looked for a path that would circumvent that mountain? A road less traveled. How different would my circumstance be? Would I be a different person?

Can I embrace this philosophy today? For example: my house is a mess and I keep thinking all I need is a block of time and energy to get it cleaned up. The thought literally sees it as a mountain to be moved...one boulder at a time. But boulders break, rocks crumble and then there is the sand to deal with.

What if I step to the right of Mt Calamity? Will there be a road sign pointing me in the direction of avoiding future piles of paper. The challenge calls out "change the habit or accept it"!

I am thinking I want to try this if for no other reason than I worry and fret too much. I would rather meet the day with eagerness instead of dread or regret. It could lead me into a wilderness but that would mean I needed an adventure, right?

walk for soul health

2010-07-16T12:57:00.000-07:00

When I had my beloved Beagles I walked about 3 miles a day, rain or shine. Now they are gone and my motivation has to come from something else. The best time for me is in the morning. And I have to convince myself to put on the shoes and step out the door. Once I am "on the road" it is all good.

I take walks for my physical health...get that oxygen coursing through the veins. I take walks for my mental health...get those thought processes in order.

Today I walked for my soul's health. I was exhausted and cranky. My inner talk was a blame game of who did what "to me". After about half a mile I looked up. Perched at the top of a fir tree was a crow who was doing a good job of impersonating a Christmas angel.I let out a laugh and all of the grumpiness evaporated.

My steps were lighter, my headache was gone. I was free to love my life, flaws and all.

I think I will name that crow Gabriel.

daily life on a journey

2010-07-04T17:15:00.000-07:00

Dr. Timothy Johnson wrote, "if our daily life is only a small part of the journey, then shouldn't we be focusing on a much bigger picture than just our daily existence?" Add Schweitzer's words, "Reverence for life brings us into a spiritual relation with the world independent of all knowledge of the universe."

Daily living is the small step we take on a planet around a star in a galaxy. We are separated yet connected to a mystery, we journey together. My focus can be so small and centered on me. Yet when I allow myself to be open, that focus transforms into a joyful awareness ...we are all connected. Be it DNA or matter or some physics theory unknown as yet, the proven, unproven and the spiritual do a dance ...
we are all connected, plants, animals, dirt, stars, black holes.

I love the words, "be mindful". And it applies here; everything you do changes something else, somewhere else.

personal commandments

2010-06-20T13:30:00.000-07:00

Gretchen Rubin of Happiness Project fame http://www.happiness-project.com/ has these suggested "personal commandments:\

Don't compare yourself to others, but do compare yourself to your former self.
Spend the present when you are strong storing away for the future when you will be weak.
Maintain your health, it is your greatest asset.
Enjoy today because someday it will belong to the good old days
Dress for the body you have, not the body you wish you had.
Do not wait for retirement to take all of your vacations.
Be present. People can't follow when you retreat within yourself.
Value experience. You can lose stuff, but nobody can take away memories.
Never expect more from others than you expect from yourself.
Don't let yourself get too comfortable. If you aren't stretching, you aren't growing. If you aren't growing, you're dying.

new kid on the block

2010-06-07T18:35:00.000-07:00

There is a new addition to my backyard. One very vocal chipmunk has appeared. I had chipmunks in my yard 20 years ago but that family disappeared. I have missed their sassiness.
His/her call is a fast, high-pitched series of “chip, chip, chip” warning of intruders, ie. cats and me. I first spotted it running up a tree it's tail held straight up.

Why do I bore you with such a trivial happening in my world?It's a chipmunk for heaven's sake! I write about this because it has been raining and raining and raining. I reached an end of sorts and this small chirpy creature cheered me. My hope is that it will be a presence for a long time.

Do you know how to tell the difference between a chipmunk and a squirrel? When you look at their faces chipmunks have stripes along their heads and faces. Some squirrels have stripes on their body, but there are no squirrels with striped faces.

"Townsend’s chipmunks are considered ecologically beneficial because they spread the spores of fungi around the forest on their feet and in their feces. As fungi grow, they help the forest by providing nutrients to the trees. When forest companies replant trees after logging, they sometimes consider chipmunks to be a problem because they eat Douglas-fir seeds. In reality, by caching, or storing, the seeds they collect, chipmunks sometimes plant new trees."

phantom pain

2010-05-16T17:57:00.000-07:00

You've heard of phantom pain experienced by amputees? Someone recently shared a story with me.

A man who lost his right hand at the wrist went to a specialist in pain management. He had the constant pain of a fingernail digging into the palm of his right hand.
The doctor created a box of mirrors with holes for the man to insert his left hand up to his wrist and right wrist. Then he had the patient open and close his left hand and observe the image of his "right hand" opening and closing. After hours of this exercise the pain in the right hand went away. The nerve that had delivered the pain message was repatterned! Without meds, without surgery....

What a story! What a concept! Oh the possibilities.

How many times do the tears from emotional pain return? Or the call from a long forgotten addiction? Or the ghost of depression? Every pain is unique to the patient, the injury, the circumstance. Once healed we still can be visited by the "phantom". But just think about how using a reprogramming exercise can spell relief. Give your brain, that amazing body part, permission to repattern a hurtful, unnecessary message . Look in the mirror, open up and love the one you see.

Do things that scare you

2010-04-15T17:16:00.000-07:00

Eleanor Roosevelt said, "Do one thing every day that scares you".

I am the biggest scared cat around. Just reading and internalizing those words makes me shiver. (note to self: here is the "thinking and doing" part you always talk about). I am thinking that there are different kinds of fear.

In my defense, I am brave at times. Some mornings just getting out from under my warm covers to face the day is frightening, but I do it. But doing something fearful ever day? Oh Eleanor, I don't think I could.

There are things I have done in spite of my fear. I can remember many years ago I would hyperventilate if I had to make a business call or a doctors appointment...but I did it. I don't like to drive to an area that is unfamiliar and I have gotten lost doing it but I drive on. And there was the time I had to walk across a long train trestle with two toddlers in hand...I am afraid of heights and bridges!

Some people like to feel the adrenalin rush but I doubt that I will ever even bungee jump.

Someone once said "Take your fears to tea". To me that means more than doing what you don't want to do. Don't just sit across the tea table and converse. Turn the fear around and upside down and interview it. Many fears once faced turn out to be unfounded.

I feared becomin a lonely old woman. I am now alone, getting older, and I am just fine!

The miracle of reading & writing

2010-03-26T17:22:00.000-07:00

Many years ago I decided to read one chapter of a book every night before I turn out the bedside lamp. I am astounded at how many pages I have turned since I started! I even read the Bible cover to cover...one chapter at a time.

I rarely miss a read...usually fiction. I find the chapters make life's noises recede, for a few minutes I can enter someone elses story and set aside my own. I started to jot down title and author, too. It is now an extensive list.

Another daily routine for me has been to write in a journal every day. There is a colorful array of sizes and colors of bound pages that tell my story.

I am sad to report that recently I have not been so diligent in that endeavor. In January I started to re-read my journals. I am disappointed in myself. It is like I lost a part of me... be it a memory, a fear, a joy.

I have decided to commit once again to daily notes and part of those notes will be to write 5 things I am grateful about. I started on March 2nd. Today there are 19 lists.

If you are willing to try it I highly recommend the practice. There was a day when the best I could say thanks for was "toothpaste". I came down with a cold and the list was..."tea, cough drops, soup, glasses and stories". After my granddaughters visit I had an appreciation for Play-Doh.

The readings and journals bless me in three ways. The discipline grounds me in the moment. Going back, centers me all over again. Reaching deep looking at gratitude is magical. Try it!

six word stories

2010-02-21T14:19:00.000-08:00

Have you heard of the Six-word memoirs? Can you tell your story in six words? Many people tell it well.

See them at http://www.smithmag.net/.
Some of my faves:
"It all changed in an instant"
"Sadly, we have registered at Goodwill"
"Should have crossed legs, not fingers"
"Different grass. Same shade of green"
"The caterpillar became a beautiful butterfly"

everyone has a story

2010-02-21T13:48:00.000-08:00

I saw a piece on CBS Sunday Morning today. The reporter would have someone choose a random place; he would travel there, from a directory he would close his eyes and point to a name. Then he would go to that person to hear their story...because everyone has a story.(everyone is a story)

Stories humanize us and show us how similar we can be.I think my own story is pretty boring but it is a story. Someday I will write the sum of days gone by. My dad has been writing stories from his life as he remembers them and I love to read them. A good friend recently interviewed her father and wrote a charming book about his life. He left this world not too long ago but left his legacy for his family.

People live and the purpose of that life becomes their story. What choices did you make under stress? How did a crisis change or shape you? How deep was the grief? What do you spend money on? Have your goals changed?

Thomas Moore wrote in "Original Self": "The stories I tell shape my truth, my soul and my life. The right story is the one that helps me to love myself the most, to create the most, to love others and support their creations."

Tell yours, share it, seek out the story of the person next to you...everyone as one.

the world of crows

2010-02-06T16:53:00.000-08:00

I just read a really good book, "Crow Planet: Essential Wisdom from the Urban Wilderness" by Lyanda Lynn Haupt. She lives on Alki in Seattle and made a study of crows.

Things I learned to add to my personal crow knowledge:

They mate for life.
They share in the building of their nest and care for their young together, sometimes they have a helper
If a fledgling falls from the nest they feed it until it can fly
They hold a grudge if you harm one of their own
They recognize faces of humans
When a crow from their community dies they gather silently and keep vigil for a time...the funeral of simplistic honor.

Crows are everywhere.

Their intelligence lends to the stories and lore.

Everyone has a crow story, you either love them or hate them.

We should all respect the crows ability to survive change.

And be grateful, crows peck away at roadkill before the smell and maggots of death have a chance to set in.

jim wallis and jon stewart

2010-01-22T14:30:00.000-08:00

Two "right on the mark" political commentators were together a couple days ago. See Jim Wallis interviewed by Jon Stewart on the Daily Show: http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/tue-january-22-2008/jim-wallis

Jim Wallis said "We need to ask...not when will the crisis end but how will the crisis change us...it is a values crisis" He suggested the banks give their bonuses to Haitian relief, or to give grace instead of foreclosures.

He also quoted "In our every deliberation we must consider the impact of our decisions on the next seven generations." From the Great Law of the Iroquois Confederacy

Be mine

2010-01-22T13:50:00.000-08:00

Walk into any store that sells merchandise and you will see red hearts, red roses, sweet cherubs, and chocolates in heart shaped boxes. Valentines Day is a few weeks away. (Approximately 85 percent of all valentines are purchased by women).

I believe in love; romance can be lots of fun. There are people who resent being told that they need to declare their love anew. Others are sad because they don't have romance in their life right now, thus no exchange of cheezy greetings.

Do you remember having a Valentine box in our classroom? One fell short if he/she didn't spend time slipping preprinted "Be Mine" notes into samll envelopes and dropping them into that sweetly decorated box.

I googled Saint Valentine. What I gleaned is, St. Valentinus could be the name of more than one saint (martyr). The name "Valentine" is derived from "valens" which means worthy.

Many of the current legends that characterise Saint Valentine were invented in the 14th century England, by Geoffrey Chaucer and his circle, when the feast day of February 14 became associated with romantic love.

I suggest you tell everyone who is worthy that you love them as simply or extravagantly as you choose. But let the telling be genuine from that beating muscle in your chest. We all have one, thank goodness.

Hello 2010

2010-01-10T14:26:00.000-08:00

It is a relief to finally get to the second week in January. I don't have to think about whether or not I need to make a resolution that would transform me if I commit to it. (for your information, I did not resolve to do anything profound). The media has fulfilled their obligation of reminding us of past events...the year in review and the decade's disasters; the best and the worst top 20.

Now I can breathe a little and get back to the dailiness of life. As the Beatles sang, "obla dee obla dah, life goes on".

Hello, New Year, you are assigned the number 2010 to your turn around the sun. As you take your trip, will you please bring us good news and miracles? Ease the pain and erase the fear that are the constant companions of so many that inhabit this planet.

History tells us how bad it can get. Events confound and astound us. Yet we are made of tough stuff, history tells us that, too. Take hope.

All that is not given is lost

2009-12-25T11:19:00.000-08:00

"All that is not given is lost." Father Ceyrac

(Jesuit Father Pierre Ceyrac, 95, is almost as well known and revered in India as Mother Teresa. Every day, he feeds 25,000 underprivileged children and gives them the opportunity to go to school.)

I jotted this quote down a couple years ago and ran across it again this morning. Since this is the giving season, I am looking for the connection between Christmas and these profound words.

A loose interpretation would be "If I want to keep this I must give it away". That thought is very freeing in an abstract way.

My tradition is to celebrate the arrival of God on earth as a human, to give gifts as the Magi did, to sing with joy, to exalt His birth. If I give with an attitude of reverence I keep all that is dear to my heart.

I do give my all when it comes to love. So I will not lose love.

And one of my mottoes is "do what I say I will do when I say I will do it", which I strive to follow yet sometimes fail. I do not want to lose my word. If there is honor in the intention then I will not lose honor or intent.

What do you think? How does the quote apply to your life?

My Christmas note

2009-12-18T14:13:00.000-08:00

Christmas is not my favorite holiday for all of the obvious reasons. But I do try to make the most of the season. I do love the smell of evergreens. I find peace when I roam around my local woods looking for cedar boughs and cones, even lichen and moss take on holiday flair in December.

I am not a true humbug. I love giving just not shopping. And I love to hear complete strangers wish each other a Merry Christmas.

Last year we had a very surprising and inconvienient white Christmas. I will remember it forever. My family had to improvise quickly. We couldn't orchestrate a picturesque gathering but it was heartening to be together. Together no matter what, that is what warms my heart.

My Christmas message to each of you as 2009 fades away, take note of all you encounter that is good and pure. Accept with awe, the grace that appears as easily as the opening and closing of your eyes. Inhale the love that is a breath away. Rever life, because it is a glorious thing!

And come back to watch me grow in 2010.

Interior decorating

2009-12-04T11:27:00.000-08:00

I was stationed at the information desk at my job in a public libray yesterday afternoon. A woman with children in tow approached and asked where the cushion books were. I asked her to repeat her question. "Where are the cushion books?"

"I guess we could look in the interior decorating section." I replied. I could see that look of confusion, then she spoke clearer and louder. "Is that where I would find Christian books?"

We both had a chuckle as we walked to the Religious section. And we agreed that interior decorating isn't such a bad description for Christianity or any other religion.

So I am giving it more thought this morning. As with any style we find appealing for our habitats, I will bet our individual souls are of a similar design.

My own home's decor is about as eclectic as can be. And in my soul I think I grab on to the best of all of the wisdoms in this world. While I follow the teachings of Jesus, I repect the language of kindness, compassion and justice that I hear from so many great men and women.

My goal is to have a home that offers sancuary to all who enter. It would be my greatest joy to have accomplished a place that welcomes in peace and comfort. A goal, yes, and a hope.

"Language is the dress of thought."

2009-11-08T12:11:00.000-08:00

Samuel Johnson said "Language is the dress of thought".

I just love the idea that we dress our thoughts; be it velvet and satin, feathers, a three piece suit, cotton overalls and a flannel shirt, cammo, or full metal armor. There is color, texture and pattern in "what we wear".

I want to believe that most of the time my thoughts and therefore my words are attired in soft blue jeans and a comfortable T-shirt. I aim to inspire using cozy simple language. Alas, my Reverence for Life language might be lost on the teen wearing a prom dress or on a Wall Street Trader.

In the light of this quote, I consider what my motive is. Am I just throwing words out to give life to a naked thought? In some situations that could be theraputic. On the other hand, if I "throw" something out, chances are good that someone else will catch it and have to dress it themselves. Then what?

My word choice says what I think. I reach into my word closet in search of suitable attire? What is the occasion and who will be there? Just what am I trying to say? What am I thinking?!

decisions

2009-10-25T14:47:00.000-07:00

In astrological theory , we Libras are people who seek aesthetic pleasure, balance in relationships and a harmonious environment. And although we can always see both sides of any issue, this often leads down the slippery slope to procrastination and vacillation. I do love beauty, balance and harmony.

While I don't pay attention to horoscopes this description does explain why I struggle with decisions. I do make decisions but I really have to consider everything beforehand. Looking at both sides is what I do. I know people who just go with their first instinct and right or wrong they move on. And it usually works out for them. I doubt there are many quarterbacks or politicians born as Libras.

It is against my nature to "just go for it" (what a freeing concept). But then I console myself with the fact that we who try to maintain balance keep the world turning on its axis. Or is that a "first born" characteristic ?....I'm one of those, too!

Last week I had to decide which 12 people out of 77 applicants to interview. Now I must narrow them down to 4. Oh the anguish! This morning I had to decide between potatoes or toast. I thought about it for so long it was time for lunch and I had to start over again. (i'm kidding)

Maybe that is why I welcome routine. If I get up at the same time every morning and take my established route to work I need to make fewer decisions. I can save it up for the important matters of life. Not as interesting to some but assuring to me.

Now, should I wear the blue sweater or the black jacket?

nature as a teacher

2009-10-19T09:40:00.001-07:00

As I was walking this morning I found myself musing again over the raccoon family I am watching. The mother has endeared herself to me with her parenting skills. She has made sure in their short year with her that they learn how to feed themselves. She found a way to cool them in the heat and I imagine they have a cozy warm place for the cold days coming. I have watched her romp and play with her babies all summer. What a mom!

As I was deep in thought I heard Canadian Geese overhead so I stopped to watch. The flock was gathering itself into formation which is fascinating to me. Then I noticed that at the very front to the left of the leader were six geese with smaller bodies and shorter wing spans. I am assuming these six are the younger of the flock. Amazingly every time the group reformed the smaller ones were maneuvered to the front.

Humans are offered priceless lessons from the pages of nature. The examples and role models are everywhere. Nurture, laugh, teach, protect, allow them to be, defend, honor. Love!

61 years old!

2009-10-17T17:04:00.000-07:00

I have not been able to be happy about this last birthday. It arrived on schedule, jostled me around a bit and left me holding more questions than wisdom.

There is nothing profound I can pull out to say that will make myself feel better. It just is. It is hurtling me down the road of life...ready or not. Is it fair that I have gray hair, surprise aches and a new layer of "fat"? I thought I was immune to the pitfalls of age! Don't you?

My life has taken some unexpected turns and now I know that nothing is certain. So far and overall, I have handled events fairly well. I hope for the best. I wait for a miracle. I wonder.

My life is not simpler, slower or easier. There are still thousands of books I plan to read. My masterpiece art quilt is in the mental design stage. I continue to go down the purple slide while my Granddaughter waits at its end. I guess it can't get better than that. Okay I feel better now. Happy 61st Birthday, Lynette

racoon family report

2009-10-17T16:41:00.000-07:00

The first thing I saw yesterday morning was the Racoon family breakfasting under the birdfeeder. They look plump and healthy. It is a delight and an honor to view the wild from my kitchen window. How lucky I am! They are in competition with gray squirrels, crows, jays and assorted birds. And I get to watch the show.

I was remembering the appearance of this Mama as a babe two years ago with her own sibling and mother. Before I know it she was appearing alone. All last winter she was very thin and had the most expressive eyes...plaintive. I had a very good idea that her family had met tragic ends. I resisted the urge to run out, sweep her up and hug her. I also avoid naming them. That allows me a little distance. I cannot make them my own. I am well aware that they are not pets and can be vicious, so don't worry.

The family she brings is charming. One is so petite and shy while the other is almost as big as the mom and is so independent. If I could orchestrate events, they will grow old in the forty acres behind me. Winter approaches and nature takes care of her own. I dread that part more than I can say.

You know you are a codependent when-

2009-09-25T13:35:00.000-07:00

I was talking to very good friend this morning. We got caught up in sharing our worries and frustrations, close to home and globally. Then she reminded me that it is best to take life one day at a time. A twelve step motto, if you didn't know already.

Of course, how could I forget? So I dug out a book ("The Language of Letting Go" by Melody Beattie) whose wisdom got me through some very tough times. I started reading some of the passages again.

In the back are notes I took over time. I don't know the originator of this jewel:
Top 10 Co-dependent Phrases

Okay...
If only...
Whatever you want.
It's really not so bad.
This time things will be different.
What do you think I should do?
No thanks, I can do it all myself.
Honey, I'll be whatever you want me to be.
I can't go...too many people need me.

In all honesty I have used every phrase at one time or another. Some of them were a way of life (were is the operative word). I know I am a co-dependent to the bone. I know staying in that mindset is unhealthy. I am a work in progress. It is very hard, yet magically freeing. The daily work pays off. My sanity depends on it and I am worth it.

Am I true to my purpose?

2009-09-24T11:16:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while I have to do an inventory and ask myself if I am staying true to the purpose of this blog. Are the posts pointing back to a reverence of life ?

My original goal was to share my own life in my chosen path of loving and respecting the world I walk in. I will have to let my few readers determine my score since I can't see the forest for the trees I love so much.

Can one take her convictions too far? Have I become blind in my commitment to "practice what I preach", "to think and do" ?

I will share two instances in recent days that may confirm that I have gone over the edge.

I was sitting in traffic, to my right over a small bridge a construction crew was pushing an Alder tree over. When it cracked and fell, I felt a pain in my heart as if a part of me snapped with it.
A feather floated down from above, right in front of me as I was walking and contemplating life. Fresh from its giver, soft downy gray. As I held it I felt hopefully connected to this tough yet fragile world.

I have hit the ? key often in this post. While I do not doubt myself, I question if I go too far. And just as importantly, I question if I touch anyone with the words and thoughts that I throw into the ether.

get out and read the morning news

2009-09-10T12:44:00.000-07:00

I love reading Tom Friedman's columns online in the New York Times. This one titled "Connecting Nature’s Dots " inspired me.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/23/opinion/23friedman.html

Consider his comments:
...And every morning, when you set out to investigate the wilderness, it is not uncommon for a guide to lean out of his jeep, study the animal and insect tracks, and pronounce that he’s “reading the morning news.”...

“If you spend enough time in nature and allow yourself to slow down sufficiently to let your senses work, then through exposure and practice, you will start to sense the meanings in the sand, the grasses, the bushes, the trees, the movement of the breezes, the thickness of the air, the sounds of the creatures and the habits of the animals with which you are sharing that space,” said Ives. Humans were actually wired to do this a long time ago.
Unfortunately, he added, “the speed at which humans have improved technology since the Industrial Revolution has attracted so many people to towns and cities and provided them with ‘processed’ natural resources” that our innate ability to make all these connections “may be disappearing as fast as biodiversity.”
Which leads to the point of this column. We’re trying to deal with a whole array of integrated problems — climate change, energy, biodiversity loss, poverty alleviation and the need to grow enough food to feed the planet — separately. The poverty fighters resent the climate-change folks; climate folks hold summits without reference to biodiversity; the food advocates resist the biodiversity protectors. ..
They all need to go on safari together.

Does God know you?

2009-08-27T17:53:00.000-07:00

The Baptist church I drive by daily, has this question on it's reader board, "Does God know you?"

My initial answer was "Yes! He knows me better than I know myself." Then I thought how grateful I am for that reality. The One who knows me best, loves me anyway. I am told, that in His eyes I am perfect just the way I am. I take great comfort in knowing that.

I envision Him walking next to me, knowing where this path will lead, yet staying by my side. Maybe He leans in a little to encourage me to take the other fork in the road (a better choice?) Yet I am free to go my own way and will not lose this Holy companion. There is not a human alive that could do that.

I want to stand up straighter and do it all correctly from now on. I want to shine and turn to Him and say "See how much better I am doing?"

The real me, the flesh and blood me, after I close out of this blog and eat my dinner, will forget and take another miss-step. And He will keep pace me as I careen down this winding, narrow, primitive road I have put myself on.

"loving rationality"

2009-08-17T19:27:00.000-07:00

It is a wonderful thing to see a first-rate philosopher at prayer. Tough-minded thinking and tenderhearted reverence are friends, not enemies. We have for too long separated the head from the heart, and we are the lesser for it. We love God with the mind and we love God with the heart. In reality, we are descending with the mind into the heart and there standing before God in ceaseless wonder and endless praise. As the mind and the heart work in concert, a kind of "loving rationality" pervades all we say and do. This brings unity to us and glory to God.
-Søren Kierkegaard, The Prayers of Soren Kierkegaard, “Reflections”

the gift of sons

2009-08-17T18:32:00.000-07:00

Desmond Tutu said "You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them. "

I adore my children and their children. Our gatherings are a whirlwind of color and bustle. They are the gift that keeps on giving.

I have raised two of the most admirable sons. They are amazing fathers. I am in awe of what exceptional men they have become. Their growing up years were not easy on them or me and that is an understatement. It is like we all needed powerful buffing and now they shine.

These presents from God originally wrapped in soft blue flannel are as human as can be and that makes me love them more. They are tough and soft and they make mistakes. But they have the courage to admit their wrongs and they try to make amends. There are lovely moments when their children lean into them as if they are a united front facing the world.And they belong to me.

Mama Raccoon

2009-08-02T14:35:00.000-07:00

It has been so hot in the Pacific Northwest! We don't do well when the temperature gets over 90 and we have had consecutive days when it has been in 100's!

I came home a couple nights ago and gazed out my kitchen window. A raccoon who inhabits a few wooded acres bordering my back yard appeared under the bird feeder. I was surprised to see two new babies with her. As soon as she was sure they were busy eating sunflower seeds she lowered herself into the pan of water I keep for the animals. Poor thing had reached her limit, just like me!

We set up a small pool with water and the next afternoon they were back. She cooled herself and then made sure each baby was soaked. She just grabbed them and rolled them while they squealed.

It was endearing and life affirming. Parents take care of themselves so that they can take care of their little ones. We have to do our best with what is offered when we are at the mercy of weather and elements. Basic survival can be as simple as cooling off.

I look forward to witnessing the growing and training those cuties are in for. They already have personalities. One is adventurous and a risk taker, the other stays close to Mom.

wisdom in the shoes of another

2009-07-20T11:58:00.000-07:00

I gained new wisdom this week:

My so called wisdom works for me and no one else! Just when I think I have life all figured out, I find out I must have stepped off the path and into a blackberry bush.

I encountered the worn shoes of another soul. They were the everyday shoes of one who treads a different path than the one I am on. I slid my feet into them and attempted to take a few steps. They were so uncomfortable, the inside of the shoe was form fitted for the owner after hours and hours of wear. My wise rules of life refused to work in these shoes.

The pace we use on our personal road is ours alone. This realization (which I have always known in my head) will now keep me from judging the walk of others. That includes their gait and the journey they are on.

It is bittersweet that we all walk alone. No one else can step into our shoes, no one else can know our individual journey. Yet, these solitary strides are guided by the wisdom of a God who watches over us, loves us through, catches us when we let Him.

happiness is (part 2)

2009-07-17T17:36:00.000-07:00

Happiness is right before our eyes...immediately available to us if we surrender to what this very moment offers. Michael Gellert

Happiness is the art of seeing. Dalai Lama

Happiness equals what we have, divided by what we expect. Edward F Edinger

We must be willing to get rid of the life we planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. Joseph Campbell

less grumpy, please

2009-07-17T17:13:00.001-07:00

I feel like I need to redeem myself after my last post. What a grump!

I allowed myself to rant. I, like so many, can lash out at the world when life gets hard. For me it was lack of sleep and fatigue. And life hasn't been that hard! I lose patience on a dime...sorry. I am humbled by my humanity.

Where is my ability to see the sacred in everday things? Now that I think about it, what is ordinary about "bombs bursting in air". Where is the sacred? Oops there I go again.

You know what I did notice last week?
The bluest of skies. A crow flying overhead with food in his beak. Kids laughing as they swam laps. A chocolate lab rolling on his back in the grass, grinning from ear to ear. Home. These are the everyday sacred. I am grateful to have been able to see. My grumpiness scale went down several notches.

So today I feel restored...I am me again. Once more I move on looking toward the mystery of my life.

bah !!

2009-07-05T11:16:00.000-07:00

Just spent a miserable night, July 4th....bah! It was a sad day remembering the passing of Cheyenne last year. But I was handling that.

At 10:00 p.m. the roar of fireworks "bursting in the air" was deafening. It continued on until 1:30 a.m. I sat cuddling and consoling three cats. Of course, their terror didn't go away at 1:30a.m. I was still soothing them at 5:00 a.m.

Yes, my county has laws about illegal fireworks...which are ignored by so many citizens. Yes, the area is unusually dry, fire marshall's begged people to use good judgement....also ignored by these fine upstanding citizens.

What is so patriotic about lighting fire to gunpowder, unless you are defending your homeland? Don't give me that symbolic rhetoric, I don't think any of the oohs and awes were based on 1776 and the fight for freedom.

Did the money spent on fireworks stimulate the economy? Yeah, China's economy. In 2007 Americans spent $900 million on fireworks. I couldn't find the amount for this year, yet. (I also read that in 2006 China imported $500 million worth of American Flags!!!)

On a small positive note my little pocket community had it's annual parade at noon. I was cheered by the kids on bikes and dogs passing by all decked out in red white and blue. Later they gathered for hot dogs and swimming. That is great, I'm all for community.

As I finish this I am still angry, I am tired. And I feel like an old crone carrying on. But I am so against the whole practice of fireworks, they hold no charm, only waste and destruction...BAH!

love crows and rat and....

2009-06-29T20:24:00.000-07:00

I just read a fun article in O magazine June 2009 titled "Something to Crow About"

I love the second to the last paragraph quoting Josh Klein. " He points out that while we tend to be big fans of endangered species like pandas, we're far less fond of species that are good at surviving among us, the so called synathropes- pigeons, rats, coyotes, crows. ' I'd like to see us reexamine out relationship with these species. After all their doing their best to adapt to situations we put them in."

http://www.oprah.com/article/omagazine/200906-omag-animal-training-crows

a day in the life of someone else

2009-06-26T13:03:00.000-07:00

The day in the life of someone I know:
6:00 alarm goes off, get up and shower
6:30 fall back into bed, so tired. recently diagnosed thyroid condition explains the fatigue and need for more sleep
8:00 up and dressed, call bank to check on bank balance; call bank customer service about an error
8:30 call bank back after they accidentally hung up, they see the problem and will fix it.
10:00 physical therapy for back injury from a year ago
1:00 meet daughter and her mom for a prearranged visit
1:15 take daughter to the park to play
2:15 daughter needs a nap so start driving
2:30 stop to buy a snack for the ride
3:15 oil light comes on in car; pull over into Walmart and go shopping for a gallon of oil hoping that will be enough; let daughter look at toys, get a call from a family member who wants to apologize; take a call from doctor who sees something suspicious about blood test; make an appointment; buy oil
4:15 give thanks, loss of oil caused by loose oil cap and not something more serious; clean up oily mess
5:15 drive toward home, daughter falls asleep finally, hear that Michael Jackson died
6:15 carry sleeping babe into her mom's; she wakes up, more time for reading a book and playing
7:00 say goodnight to daughter and head for home
7:45 arrive home, make a sandwich, get a couple calls from friends
8:00 check bank balance, the error is still there!
9:00 fall into bed

It's all relative, isn't it? My life is so simple compared to this one.

why is time going so fast?

2009-06-26T12:15:00.000-07:00

Why is time going so fast?

There is the mathematical answer. When I was 4 years old, 1 year was equal to 25% of my lifetime and waiting for another one to come and go seemed like a near eternity. By the time I was 10, 1 year equaled only 10% of my life; not quite so earth-shattering but lengthy enough. By the age of 20, the year dwindled to 5% of my total lifespan.

Considering this exponential curve, time seems to fly faster each year. The remaining percentages stretch out over the years. I am at .0167% today! I no longer wait with anticipation for another year to arrive. I cannot pluck off the wings of time, it will continue to fly and I will keep spinning around searching for the lost hours and days.

The philosophical answer points to the same conclusion , I am getting older . The reality is my body moves slower so it take me longer to get things done. I choose to do fewer tasks rather than increase my speed (exhausting). The day, week, month comes and goes and I accomplish less. Or maybe I massage each moment, trying to soothe that ticking clock, convince it to slow down along with me. But the physical law of 60 seconds in an hour rules all on earth.

I think about those lovely people in my life who are older than I. They sit and gaze out the window and take more naps and talk about better days gone by. In a younger age I equated this to laziness. Now I wonder if they are just trying slow down the spinning of the earth, "sit down and stay awhile".

happiness is:

2009-06-21T16:42:00.000-07:00

happiness is belonging
happiness is triumph
happiness is expectation
happiness is having time
happiness is enough
happiness is knowing yourself
happiness is music
happiness is sunshine

happiness is a puppy

You?

We become what we measure

2009-06-21T15:28:00.000-07:00

"...The king was in the counting house, counting out his money..." Wish I had a kingdom and needed a house for my riches. What a lovely thought. But what kind of life would I have if the best part was sitting in the counting house?

Contrary to popular belief, keeping count will make us neither rich nor royal. What I have seen is, we tend to become what we measure. How many hours, what was the score, calories eaten, dollars earned or spent, miles driven, temperature?

Keeping a running total is not a bad thing. There is satisfaction in making a goal, measuring progress and attaining the end.

Here is the rub, the focus and love of the "game " removes us from the essence of life. The nourishment and nectar is in the living. If there is a pot of gold at the end of our rainbow I hope I have the strength and wisdom to dance a joy dance, fill my pockets as full as I can and then get back to the journey. As Martin Luther King Jr said"...the means and the ends are inseparable".

Change thrust upon me

2009-05-29T10:06:00.000-07:00

Change is thrust upon me.

We all know about tv signals changing from analog to digital in June. My television is old, not as old as some I know, and highly functional but not digital. The cable company said to not worry so I didn't. Then they urgently told me I needed to install a cable box. They provided it free and I got it set up (I did it all myself!). True to their word the installation went well.

But the cable box came with a universal remote! I had to learn how to program and operate the thing to be able to use my new and improved set up. I can't tell you how hard that was. Yes, I read the instructions! Hours later I had such a headache...maybe I should give up watching tv totally. Alas,I can now use the thing but it isn't nearly as much fun to channel surf. I excelled at the sport with my exceptional thumb action.

Then my bank was taken over. I had to set up new online information, agreeing to who knows what to move on. I was very happy with the accounts of the old bank. The new bank has different policies. So I have to find time to sit with their customer service person and find a better deal.

The oldest of my cats decided to change the dynamics of our morning routine. I will spare you details.

You have probably tired of my whining but hold on...please laugh with me. I am watching myself as if I am the audience watching the circus act of a juggler (me,also)who has tossed oranges and apples for years. Suddenly there was no more fruit! Now she has to juggle knives.

These too shall become habits...until the next change gets thrust upon me/us.

Peace of Wild Things

2009-05-21T12:31:00.000-07:00

I share another poem;

Poem: The Peace of Wild Things
Author: Wendell Berry (b. 1934)

When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children's lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake rests in his beauty
on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought of grief.
I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

poem by Mary Oliver

2009-04-26T12:52:00.000-07:00

My neighbor shared these few lines from poem by Mary Oliver “Sometimes” .

Pay attention.
Be astonished.
Tell about it.

eat a plant based diet

2009-04-18T15:08:00.000-07:00

Reasons to adapt a plant based diet.

It defies common sense to feed food to animals and eat them when we could simply eat the food meant for us in the first place. We would see an improvement in water pollution, environmental problems and climate change. We could reduce animal suffering. We could feed all of the humans on the planet. We would see a reduction in heart disease, diabetes, cancer, etc.

It's all good! And it is possible by making a conscious lifestyle choice. That is what it is, a lifestyle and a choice. Eating meat is not a necessity for survival but the exact opposite.
Look at http://www.goveg.com/ meet your meat.

between hope and despair

2009-04-18T14:34:00.000-07:00

Writing gurus say to write what you know. I, instead write to learn and to hope. I throw the cooked spaghetti of words against the page and hope that they will stick...al dente...to my soul!

We live in times of despair and diminishing hope.

Diane Ackerman said that there are "Two features of human experience essential to the line between hope and despair.
1. the value of believing we have an option.
2. the ability to savor the abundance of the world."
She suggests that "solution always involves altering perspectives--- replacing tunnel vision with an expanded view and more possibility."

Open up the windows and doors and allow a breeze to blow away the dust of expectations. Maybe a tornado of events have caused chaos in your ordered tidy life. Remove the armor of anger and fear you have been wearing to protect yourself. You have to be clothed in a lighter garb to journey on. Believe and take the next step.

I have been angry and I have lived in fear. Every time I turned from those crippling emotions I found enough grace to step forward into something new and better.

the days add up

2009-03-29T14:29:00.000-07:00

"How we spend our days, of course, is how we spend our lives." Annie Dillard

I digest those words and immediately feel guilt. I'm not sure I live the life I value; so many of my days are spent just getting through. I wrestle with the inner woman. She wears a large red S on her purple spandex suit....which fits like a glove, by the way, and shows off her svelte lines.

And the thing about life is, it is so daily. I know all too well that how I account for my life will be a culmination of how I account for my days . It is in the small things, the details that add up to the whole.

I value truth and integrity. I do my best to do what I said I would do when I said I would do it. That woman in the purple does so much of what I envision I could do with time, energy and money. The outer one is the real deal, just me moving through the hours.

a good thing

2009-03-21T10:17:00.000-07:00

I live within a mile of a large landfill. So this recent bulletin was welcome news for my community. A benefit of our economic woes.

"County officials have spent years trying to get you to reduce the amount of garbage you generate. It now appears the declining economy was able to accomplish that in a matter of months...King County Waste Solid Waste Managers say they are in the middle of sudden and steep decline in the amount of trash coming into to their transfer stations and landfill... loads are down from about 170 per day to 130. " Gary Chittum King 5 News

http://www.king5.com/localnews/environment/stories/NW_032009ENB-less-garbage-king-county-KC.5532d059.html

Act your age

2009-03-21T09:19:00.000-07:00

I have a granddaughter nearing her 2 year birthday. She is at the stage of testing boundaries and she doesn't always like the answers.
The other day she wanted her Dada's car keys. Knowing the possibilities of handing over the keys to a 2 yr.old, he said no. That angelic, sweet little one fell to the floor screaming and kicking. Her dad walked away saying "Go ahead and fuss".
She wailed for a few seconds, realized that she wouldn't get the keys and wandered off to find a "legal" toy. Keys forgotten.
Dada could have gone into an explanation of why the keys are off limits. She would not have heard him above her wailing, she wasn't up for reasoning. Her ability to look at a bigger picture hasn't developed.

I thought about how even as adults we test the boundaries, laws and rules in life. We have the ability to see the big picture if we take the time to observe. Life's lessons are there to be learned.

Ever get a speeding ticket justly deserved and try to get out of it? Slow down!
Remember angrily cleaning up the spilled milk (after all, you are late for work already) that was your doing? Slow down!
The dentist can tell if you haven't been flossing, you know.
Protest the income tax payment for the privilige of living in this country.
Eating a cheaper pesticide laden strawberry will overwork your liver.
Choose to not recycle, it goes to landfill, creates gases, ruins the ozone...

We throw our tantrums, we challenge each others boundaries, natural laws and man's laws. We fuss and are surprised at the results of crossing the line; we look for somewhere else to lay the blame. Time to grow up and, at the very least, throw our tantrums where no one else can witness them. The 2 year old had the wisdom to move on.

2009-03-21T09:12:00.000-07:00

If the day and the night are such

that you greet them with joy

and life emits a fragrance

like flowers

and sweet scented herbs~

that is your success.

All nature is your congratulations.

Henry David Thoreau

Serenity Prayer and me

2009-03-16T10:40:00.000-07:00

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can;and wisdom to know the difference." Reinhold Niebuhr The prayer used in most 12 step programs.

Think how easy it would be to glide through life practising this philosophy. It is profound advise; promising serenity, courage and wisdom in the midst of life's chaos. It is true reverence for life.

My own nature (and I am not alone here) needs to find something I can identify as a problem so I can come up with a fix and a plan. There is this inate need to worry about something, anything.

When I embrace the serenity prayer, I respond with the words like "I don't know" "I'm sorry" "hmmm". Maybe I serve my fellow humans better with those responses. How often does a problem reveal itself by begging for our "expert" solution? It takes a strength and courage to back off and not handle things.

Then I could move from that habitual worrying to laughing, loving them as they are, gratitude. Serenity now!

three nudges get my attention

2009-03-02T10:01:00.000-08:00

I have long subscribed to my own "rule of three". If you Google Rule of Three, you will see it is used in problem solving, surviving, religion...

My rule , which I use as a guide, came about from life experience. My own sweet spirit whispers through my life with guidance and grace. If I don't pay heed, that same sweet spirit talks louder, sometimes it shouts!

If I encounter a word or idea from three totally different sources, I know I need to stop and pay attention.The latest happened this week-end. Actually, over the last three months (there is that number again!) my soul has been trying to get my attention. Finally I realized that my whole being was yelling that I need to take better care of myself. Then:

1. I took a class titled "You are not your job." I knew that much but she gave some excellent tools on how to live with less stress, do what you love. She offered some of her own life experiences that hit home.

2. I read in "Bliss" by Dean Koontz's dog Trixie that "Life is a raging river. Sometimes you need to swim to shore , sit awhile."

3. I took a good look in the mirror and was surprised at how tired I appeared. Dark circles under the eyes, skin blotchy. The word haggard came to mind.

So I take myself to task with compassion and make me a priority.

My first goal is to get nine hours of sleep instead of seven or eight each night.
I turn the TV off more often, curl up in a corner of the sofa and gaze out my window for hours ...just be.
I am walking faster.
Listen to music that tickles my brain.
Wash my hands more.
Breathe...from the diaphragm , count to five as I inhale, hold for the count of five, count to five as I exhale. Ten in the morning, ten at night.
To take pleasure in all that I do. Pleasure is energy reciprocated. It will come back to me
Remind myself that when I pray from a place of fear I diminish myself
Create

Until the next three nudges

well designed

2009-02-14T12:46:00.000-08:00

Part of Psalm 139:14 says "....I am fearfully and wonderfully made..."

I was reminded of this in a most unpleasant way this week. I came down with a very contagious intestinal bug. Since most of you have experience with similar viruses at some point in your life, I won't give details.

Now that I feel better I marvel at the way my body took over and waged war. My brain function ceased as my immune system aimed all the energy it could muster toward the offender. Just as they are designed to do, my cells were dedicated to expelling my attacker.

I was so sick as a result and I desperately wanted the siege to end. But, you know, the alternative would have been far worse. Diseases try to finish us but we are made fearfully, yes. And we are made wonderfully!

So I salute this body of mine, "Thank You so much!" And most of all, I praise my Interior Designer.

A winter walk

2009-02-14T12:32:00.000-08:00

Crows above me fly their shortest route
Trees in winter rest, gray the view
I hear footsteps pacing from behind
I turn around
...it is me.

books I recommend part 2

2009-01-30T16:05:00.000-08:00

I have read some really good ones lately:

Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein. The narrator is Enzo, a dog who plans on coming back as a man in his next life. Stein also wrote How Evan Broke His Head, memorable. Both take place in Seattle

Guernsey Literary and Sweet Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows. Did you know that Guernsey is an island in the English Channel, occupied by Nazis during WWII?

Odd Thomas, Forever Odd, Brother Odd and Odd Hours four in a series written by Dean Koontz. Oddie sees souls who have not yet departed and saves the world more than once.
Also, Lightning by Dean Koontz...time travel intrigues me.

Jacqueline Winspear has written a few mysteries that are very good. Maisie Dobbs is the first. There is also Pardonable Lies, Messinger of Truth and Birds of a Feather. Maisie is an independent detective in London right after the War.

The Lottery by Patricia Woods. Perry's IQ is only 76, but he's not stupid. His grandmother taught him everything he needs to know to survive.

I thought I had it bad until I read The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls...her story

And last but not least Three Dog Life by Abigail Thomas the cover drew me in. The author is seated in the center of a sofa with dogs on each side of her.

great blue heron on a sunny morning

2009-01-30T15:21:00.000-08:00

On my, I haven't posted anything since the 3rd. Some might think I went into hibernation which any sane person would do on such cold days. I have been neither asleep in a den nor have I stopped eating.

I won't bore you with the mundane minutia of my weeks. They have been full, some joys, a few disappointments, a couple frustrations. But today the sun appeared and all was right with the world.

I am even walking again! I went out this morning bundled up in five layers of sweaters and coats. For a change the fog and clouds had dissipated and I was hoping to see an eagle fly overhead. They always inspire me.

I sighted a blue heron instead...long legs and neck, impressive wingspan. It passed over with grace. I just read that they eat fish, frogs and crab, but will seek a field and dine on mice in the winter. What inspiration can I take from that heron?

Be flexible enough to go to the food source? Be myself? Use what I have with grace?

lists for life

2009-01-03T12:23:00.000-08:00

I just jotted down a few things I would like to improve upon in 2009. Then I made out a grocery list and a to do list for the week-end. I like lists. I adore lists. Give me a pad of paper or an Excel spreadsheet and I am in my element!

Lists give me a sense of control. I can check things off as they "get done", I can cross items out. I will organize any list by importance, date or alphabet. Deep down I have this unreal belief that if I do this then that will happen.

This is a fleeting feeling of power because life doesn't happen in the realm of ordered, planned agendas or formulas. Life just happens. We can account for events in the past or record our itinerary but these reports don't tell the living part of the story.

Reality refuses to unfold according to my plans. No formula exists to predict my tomorrow. And I am richer for it!

I can dream, wish, hope and pray. There is such delight in that. I can also fear, dread and avoid tomorrow. Either way I have no say, only expectations. Delicious!

I can make ten cakes according to a recipe and I will get ten cakes but they will all be different. My boat rocks, the path ends at a mud slide, the sole of my boot wears out.

"How will it turn out?" There is such joy in the anticipation.

prayer without words

2008-12-22T08:24:00.000-08:00

Something woke me up at 3:45 the other morning. I adjusted my pillow trying not to disturb the cat snuggled against my hip. I sure didn't want to enter the world outside of the down comforter.

So I my mind took over...thinking, which can lead to worry which leads to obsessing...toss and turn...meow!

So I settled in a little deeper and questioned what it was that brought me to this untimely conciousness. That is when I heard the still small voice, "Pray". It was a compelling urge...do it, do it now! "For who, for what"?, I asked.

CS Lewis said that "prayer without words is best". And that is pretty much how it went for what seemed like hours. As people and circumstance came to mind I held them up, not knowing their need. This deep rhythm developed within me.

It was so simple and freeing and I was glad to be the one asked. If you are reading this it is because you know about my blog. If you know about this blog then you probably know me and I know you. I prayed for you.

instincts of being

2008-12-17T12:56:00.000-08:00

I sit here gazing out a frosty window. Snow covered our world and decided to stay. Domesticity takes over. I have an urge to bake bread and stir up a pot of hearty vegetarian soup. I dig out my holiday CDs and hum along as I write a few Christmas cards. A real Hallmark moment, I have to admit.

I'm glad I thought ahead and bought extra bird seed. The local birds called two friends and they called two friends, etc. It is a feeding frenzy out there! And what fun for me. All of those sweet Chickadees and Juncos. Swooping in is a Thrush and a Steller's Jay and yes, the ever present Crow. Gray squirrels offer plenty of competition. (this could get expensive!)

These timely gifts make me feel very mellow in the midst of the proverbial holiday stress and weather related problems (like getting to work and then home again). I know deep down that the worries of the day will patiently wait in the wings until I recall them....I say, "Let them wait"!

I welcome these nudges (glimmers and glimpses) to be authentically present. I have a chance to listen, learn and open myself to the moment. As I rever and indulge these instincts to get cozy. As I appreciate the presence of nature. As I allow myself to be.

a glimpse, a glimmer

2008-12-02T11:00:00.000-08:00

Somewhere in my growing up, the words "God is in the heavens" translated in my brain to "God is in a far place", looking down on me, nudging me to do right. I envisioned a Grandfatherly look for Him (think Santa in white robes...shades of Dumbledor or Gandalf). I don't think I am alone in my thinking.

I am older now, I know He is so much more than a figure with a magic wand ready to grant my wish. He is a presence that I know . He has been next to me during the most simple and most desperate times of my days, not in a far country.

He walks among us. "We are under a gentle, compassionate assault by a Kingdom of peace, healing, forgiveness and life." Lee Smolen In our more noble moments, when we are being kind to each other and ourselves we see the glimmer, we feel that peace.

deal with it?

2008-11-07T15:27:00.000-08:00

I have heard so many times that you have to deal with your emotions before you can move on. I always wondered what that looks like. What does, "deal with it" mean, really?
Today my definition would be this.

Over time, coming to terms with the reality, not just mentally but from that deep place---my center.
So first you have to recognize that your emotions (feelings) are a reaction.
Then you have to admit that reality is not what you thought it was.
You need to shift your processes- what you believe, how you think, the language of your self-talk.this shift has to filter up and down and through you, over and over.

For me, I know my shift is complete when my dreams reveal a behavior or reaction in line with my new and improved outlook on life. Those revelations are such a relief. I did it!

One of my recent "realizations" was that waiting for someone to come to their senses can't be willed into existence and it should never become a Way....waste of life.

still and small

2008-11-07T14:51:00.000-08:00

So I have written and deleted two posts already today. I am unsettled and unfocused. But I am pulled to my blog and know I am supposed to enter something.
I don't want to waste your time with drivel or my wandering thoughts.

I hear His call
Still and small
That voice that quickens my spirit
His breath gives me lift
I soar as easily as a sparrow
I have wings of feathers

And then I look down
My stand is firm
As I walk in truth
It is an extraordinary life
Feet on the ground, Spirit soaring

at the end of Tuesday

2008-11-03T08:31:00.000-08:00

Today is Monday and there is a delicious expectation for Tuesday-- Election Day!

I write this in advance because, by the end of the day some of us will be celebrating and some will be frustrated and discouraged. You voted for the one you believed most worthy. The results will be what they are for whatever reasons the media can come up with.

I want to quote Colin Powell "I believe in America. And I believe in our people"
That is where I encourage you to place your hopes and future actions. We are a nation that has survived in spite of government and greed and misguided twists and turns. Ours is a unique spirit of compassion and resilience.

Powell went on the say,"...An America that sometimes seems confused and is always noisy - that noise has a name; it's called democracy, and we use it to work through our confusion."

We will rise on Wednesday as this union has risen close to 60 times before. We will move through the routines of our day. We hope for peace and long for an economy that will secure our future. We become mindful and convicted. Life goes on.

2008-10-23T15:47:00.000-07:00

Albert Schweitzer:

"What does Reverence for Life say abut the relations between [humanity] and the animal world? Whenever I injure any kind of life, I must be quite certain that it is necessary. I must never go beyond the unavoidable, not even in apparently insignificant things.

The farmer who has mowed down a thousand flowers in his meadow in order to feed his cows must be careful on his way home not to strike the head off a single flower by the side of the road in idle amusement, for he thereby infringes on the law of life without being under the pressure of necessity."

One of Schweitzer's dilemmas came while in Africa, someone gave him an injured eagle to heal. He had to kill a fish to save the bird.

quotable

2008-10-23T15:28:00.001-07:00

I am reduced to using words written by others wiser than me.

"Your life and my life flow into each other as wave flows into wave, and unless there is peace and joy and freedom for you, there can be no real peace or joy or freedom for me. To see reality--not as we expect it to be but as it is--is to see that unless we live for each other and in and through each other, we do not really live very satisfactorily; that there can really be life only where there really is, in just this sense, love."

-- Frederick Buechner

more like Eeyore

2008-10-17T08:37:00.000-07:00

In October I observed my 60th birthday. Up until now, I have believed and encouraged others to celebrate the fact that we made it through one more year, that age is a state of mind, it's just a number!
But I struggle with this particular marker. It is a turning, an age of passage. In a few short years I can retire, which is a good thing. Right?...
I am sure only those who have already been here recognize my angst.
In an essay Garrison Keillor advises: Be a grouch. He talks about how awkward it is to turn 60 in America, where youth is glorified, and that the Scots ("a wonderful dour tribe") are the few people who don't buy into the "fairy tale" that these are the best years of our lives.
Others say that when you turn 60 you can now say anything you want and wear or not wear what you choose. If all of us boomers listen to that, Lord help this planet!
I don't yet know how to act this age. Don't you think of yourself as a younger version of yourself and become startled by the face in the mirror? And that sore knee and wrinkled hand should be the complaint of someone else.
And if I ignore it, it won't go away. It is reality and it is in my face, literally. As Eeyore says, "Oh my"! I resemble him more than I want to admit. That small pink bow on a tail which he loses often and needs the help of friends to find.

the key to discontent

2008-09-26T16:00:00.000-07:00

Reverence is the key that unlocks the padlock that grips the chains of discontent in every human. It releases us into a freedom that transends our concept of liberty. We click the heels of our ruby slippers and we are home.

It is the realization that something exists outside and beyond our grasp. We accept the fact that we are human. Then we can celebrate our humanity. We wake up to the knowledge that we don't have to be superhuman. We can just Be. Body, mind, spirit. Authentic humility.

Everytime you are jolted by the awareness that you are in over your head. That brain of yours hurts. The body that serves you starts to fail. Your spirit lives in the shadows. Say thank you, right where you are, for whatever is in front of you. Reverence contains gratitude. Gratitude lifts us up and out.

To be reverent:

is to be aware
is a matter of awe and wonder
cherishes life
is thankfulness
contains admiration
contains gratitude
is an experience of pleasure
is hope

Life is not a struggle

2008-09-14T12:07:00.000-07:00

"Life is not a struggle. It is a wiggle." Peter McWilliams

I wonder if Peter M. was referring to how life really is or how we choose to respond to it's offerings. What am I talking about? Life doesn't approach us to make deals or negotiate terms. There are no contracts or offers! Peter had to be telling us that we can push and pull in an attempt to make things happen our way (struggle)or we can gently twist, turn and tunnel our way through (wiggle).

Struggles are exhausting and fruitless. Wiggles exhilarate, they are fun!

September and October have become my season for conducting a soul check. Today I engaged hindsight into my state of mind during the fall of 2001. Lucky I didn't know what a blog was then! I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve so it would have been graphically published tales of pain. I struggled. My journal entries are full of banging my head against walls, every imaginary one I could put up. Push, pull, stand back and run at it again!

It took a year to find a gentler way (wiggle, wiggle). I turned to friends and family. I allowed all feelings to emerge. I listened to the wisdom that fluttered like feathers when I stopped huffing and puffing.

The wisdom I emerged with is wrapped in a few quotes:
"To thine own self be true" (that is harder than the simple quote implies Shakespeare)"
"Let your life speak" a Quaker adage (very convicting but it made me lift my head)
"We hold the key to our own freedom. The key is honoring and taking care of ourselves" Melody Beattie's book "Language of Letting Go" was invaluable to me.

cholesterol tips

2008-09-10T11:29:00.000-07:00

Without cholesterol, your body couldn't make Vitamin D or digest fats. But with too much of it, your arteries 'harden,' putting you at risk of heart disease. High cholesterol has no symptoms, so if you don't know your numbers, ask your doctor for a test. Then you can make some simple changes to keep your numbers in the healthy range:

Keep it Liquid - Limit or avoid saturated fats, like beef and butter, which usually stay solid at room temperature (ice cream is an exception). Fats that stay liquid - olive and other vegetable oils - are generally heart-healthy.
Go Super - Some 'superfoods' have been shown to lower cholesterol. That includes foods with omega-3 fats (salmon, albacore tuna), polyunsaturated fats (walnuts, almonds) or soluble fiber (oatmeal, apples).
Get Soy-tified - New research found that soy doesn't lower your cholesterol. But as a meat substitute, the low-fat, zero-cholesterol protein in soy burgers and other soy products can help limit your cholesterol intake.
Exercise has also been shown to lower your cholesterol.

gifts that enlarge us

2008-08-31T12:14:00.000-07:00

It was an August day in 2006. I had a quiet week-end ahead of me. The money compartment of my wallet was empty and there would be a few days before the next payday. I just sighed and picked up a book sitting on the side table.

The book was titled "Cross + Wise: a prayer walkers handbook" by Henry Gruver. I picked the used book up weeks before thinking it would inspire me in my own walks. This was the perfect time to discover the authors story and gather some wisdom.

I opened the first page, a twenty dollar bill fell out! I just sat there stunned. I mean, how often does money literally fall into your lap? I read a few pages, maybe the reader used the $20 as a bookmark on a particularly interesting page. Another twenty fluttered down.

Now I got excited and my humanity showed it's face. I fanned the other pages to see if there were more "bookmarks". Nope, but $40.00 was quite a gift , given my temporary lack.

I progressed to feeling incredibly humble. I felt good. I felt wonder. I could have taken the money back to book seller but I didn't. I thought about the previous owner of the book and uttered a prayer of thanks. A day later I used the cash to buy food for the days ahead (not that I would have starved with what I had). I did donate 10% to a charity (I am not one to look providence in the face and go on my merry way)

I remembered this moment last week, as I was reading "Moral Clarity " by Susan Neiman. In her chapter on reverence she wrote: " What you feel in such a moment isn't the kind of gratitude you feel for a gift from a loved one, but closer to what you feel for an unexpected act of kindness from a passing stranger....It's an experience not simply of pleasure, but of silent celebration. These are the feelings that enlarge us and make us better than before."

essays of core values

2008-08-16T11:02:00.000-07:00

I just discovered a website that invites contributing essays about "your own statement of personal belief". I discovered the website http://thisibelieve.org/index.php from a book in the library with that title.

What is This I Believe?

This I Believe is an international project engaging people in writing, sharing, and discussing the core values that guide their daily lives. These short statements of belief, written by people from all walks of life, are archived here and featured on public radio in the United States and Canada, as well as in regular broadcasts on NPR. The project is based on the popular 1950s radio series of the same name hosted by Edward R. Murrow.

Dancing to a new experience

2008-07-20T15:41:00.000-07:00

I don't know anything about music except that I enjoy most of it (especially harmonies, but that is for another entry). What I do know is that when circumstances change my life, my inner rhythm falters. A change in life's music can be as simple as a new route to work or as complicated as a new job or the birth of a baby. "It takes some getting used to." My internal radar loses a blip. I become off balance.

What I know is that I have to give myself time to understand the change. It takes me awhile to recognize the new beat. And until I pause and turn my spirit toward the new sound I will misstep. If I get impatient and try to dance an old step to a new tune, I stumble gracelessly.

When a new song plays, it is best to stop and listen until my spirit picks up that unfamiliar sound of the present. Come to understanding and acceptance that life is different. Then if I allow my thoughts to hum a few bars, my body will pick up the pace and the dance begins again, with my dignity intact.

what is your sling shot?

2008-07-11T12:40:00.000-07:00

"Goliath isn't that big...each of us has a sling shot" Marianne Williamson

I want to be a David.

He knew about sling shots, not armour and spears and the size of the enemy. His expertise was in watching and protecting sheep . This young man used what he knew and slew the giant!

So with that thought in my head I wonder, what is my sling shot? Who is the giant casting a shadow?

This will take some thought. Help me out here. The light dims as my giant looms over me, I don't always do my best thinking in the dark.

What is your slingshot, who is your giant?

goodbye Cheyenne

2008-07-11T11:54:00.000-07:00

A year ago I said goodbye to my faithful Beagle Bessie.
This week I must pay homage to my constant companion Cheyenne.

She left this world on July 4th to the sounds of fireworks. She was such a gentle soul, it was unseemly that others celebrated while I wept.

Cheyenne came to me as a rejected cancer test animal. She was thin, had a tattoo in her ear (they called her "Seven") and had never stood on grass before. She hated cameras so I never got a good photo of her.

She trully knew how wonderful living is. Everyday held an adventure for her followed by a long nap. She was always game for a walk, anytime to anywhere and loved to ride in the car even though she got car sick every time. Mornings were greeted with a luxurious stretch on the bed. How can a 39 pound dog fill up a whole bed? Then a patrol of the back yard ending with a dog biscuit.

I miss our routines and her weight against me at night. I miss caressing those soft Beagle ears. I miss the thump of her tail as I talked to her about the problems of the day. I lost a true friend and now I walk alone.

improve your vocabulary feed the hungry

2008-06-15T17:44:00.000-07:00

I just found this fun website. http://freerice.com/
I also checked with urban legend checkers http://www.snopes.com/ and they vouch for the website.

Improve your vocabulary and feed the world!

Click on the answer that best defines the word.
If you get it right, you get a harder word. If wrong, you get an easier word.
For each word you get right, we donate 20 grains of rice to the United Nations World Food Program.

organic musts!

2008-06-02T19:32:00.000-07:00

The Dirty Dozen:
The 12 produce items most contaminated by pesticide residues.

They are non-organic:
strawberries cherries
peaches imported grapes
nectarines pears
apples sweet bell peppers
lettuce spinach
celery potatoes

* The "Consistently Clean" are:
onions (90 percent tested negative),
avocados (90 percent),
sweet corn (90 percent),
pineapples,
mango,
asparagus,
sweet peas,
kiwi,
bananas,
cabbage,
broccoli and
papaya.*

take the footprint quiz again

2008-06-02T19:22:00.000-07:00

The carbon footprint quiz has been updated . There is always something more we can do!

My worst part of the score was the carbon part, probably because I drive 40 miles a day in an SUV. I scored a respectable # on the rest of it though.

http://www.myfootprint.org/en/

journals

2008-05-31T09:56:00.000-07:00

I have kept a journal since 1984. In all, I have 24 years worth of snippets of my life, kind of like a shoebox full of old photos. They are as varied and random as my life has been, pieces of paper and scribbles in large spiral notebooks, journals intended for journaling, and calendars with notes.

A couple weeks ago I decided to read them. And as I read them, I found myself thrown into an emotional whirlwind. Some are just plain boring as I recounted events instead of my state of mind. Maybe that was the best I could do at the time. In others I jotted down key thoughts from inspired books I was reading.

I became unhappy with myself as I found that I struggle with some of the same issues as 20 years ago! I discovered that some entries described situations that were actual prelude to later events.I couldn't see the forest for the trees! Hindsight truly is 20/20, useless but clearer.

I am proud of some of the insights and inroads I made in more illuminated times. Those I will polish and use for "show and tell". The others I will keep under wraps for now. You see, I don't want the world to see where I was dull or dumb or gullible. I am embarrassed by my vulnerability and naivete'.

But I am who I am and was who I was and there is no changing the past. I can learn from it though and appreciate then and now.

Saying that, I encourage you dear reader to keep a journal. Just as you record life in photos, record it in words, calendars, and doodles. "Dear diary" can be your confidant. It is cathartic, it is calming, it is revealing.

rewarded by reverence

2008-05-18T17:28:00.000-07:00

I wirte about reverence for life, not because I know much about it, but because I recognize that I am shaped by my response to living mindfully.

I have learned that it is not a set of rules, as I wrote in an earlier post. It requires no action other than attention and an awareness of my corner of the world. I encounter chances to rever and respect life all of the time, in the mundane and the common.That means interupting a thought (a worry) to look for the lilac bush that just sent a waft of perfume when I walked by.

When I listen with the intent of hearing I open up to all that is around me. It isn't all good, believe me but there is goodness out there and I have need of it. Simple, true reverence has the reciprocal power to comfort and to heal me.

In the moments that I actually focus my line of sight and look, I see others. I notice them and in the noticing I appreciate them, reverence moves in.

My tendancy is to define everything and everyone by my own set of experiences. In His wisdom, God is revealing that this life is a process, a different, difficult unfolding as unique and individual as we can be. I don't have the answers. I am not required to have the answers.I am asked to witness life as it is revealed not judge it.

5 essential cleaning products!

2008-05-18T17:09:00.000-07:00

I just read a really great little book titled "the humble art of zen-cleansing" by michael de jong.
He cleaned houses for years, got sick from the cleaning products and developed sane, safe and effective alternatives. All you need is:

baking soda
borax
lemon
salt
white vinegar

I have tried some of his ideas and they work really well.
I use lemon and baking soda to keep my kitchen sink clean and fresh.
Vinegar washes my windows (and kills weeds)
I will try the borax and salt ideas and let you know.
Internet searches bring up all kinds of uses... or you could take a look at his book.

a state of mind

2008-04-27T17:48:00.000-07:00

"Reverence is a state of mind not a set of rules. "

I never saw the movie series "The Adventures of Young Indiana Jones" until I came upon it on the History channel this week. Young Indy happens upon Albert Schweitzer in Africa. Schweitzer explained his philosophy for Reverence for Life to Indy while they travel up river.

It was one of those awe moments for me. The quote is one used in the movie.

P.S. After searching the library catalog and placing my hold, I learned that this is a 12 disc set produced by George Lucas. "Passion for life" is Disc 2.

so the weeds aren't gone, but...

2008-04-27T17:35:00.000-07:00

After a few false starts, I am believing that spring has arrived. I took an inventory of the numerous outside projects I would love to tackle this year. The best I could do for now was cut the grass.

My yard connects with the yard next door. I am a bit smug, here. Last year the owner ( new to the neighborhood) used all of the chemicals he could think of to improve his lawn. I stayed true to what I know for sure. All I used was vinegar on dandelions.

Here's where my smug grin comes in. The lawns look the same! Not the most beautiful by any means but if I were to count weeds, I think he has more. :~)

I am trying to come up with a way to "share" what I know with him. Any ideas?

at the edge

2008-04-19T12:56:00.000-07:00

" There is often more wisdom to be found at the edges of life than in its middle." Rachel Naomi Remen "My Grandfathers Blessing" page 280

This month I have been teetering at life's edges. Someone I love very much actually fell over that edge but he was caught before he plummeted. We have been able to back up a few steps. For now there is a wall behind and that edge in front. What to do? Walk sideways, grab hold but move, slowly!

Prayer enveloped us from friends and family. They did not leave us to our own devices. Wisdom came from a couple of professionals. Time and hope are to our east and west.

In light of Remen's quote, I admit to being a wisdom seeker.Yet, I find no thrill at walking close to the edges of life (brinks of disasters in my language). Are there people who do like it? Probably, but are they wiser than I am?

God knows I prefer middle life and He knows I gain little wisdom in that zone of comfort. So I am thrust onto precipices at the most unexpected of times. In braver moments, I have looked down but I don't recommend it. This latest experience did reveal a pearl, thrust out your hand while yelling for help; that help was waiting for our call.

Thank you.

reunions

2008-03-29T11:41:00.000-07:00

On the heels of Easter (the celebration of resurrection), I have been confronted by themes of reunion.

I carry memories of spending time most precious with my family. These are golden moments and I want to hold on to every ray of light.
As I drove the 2 miles into my community Thursday there were dozens of signs up welcoming home a local soldier returning from Iraq. I personally do not know him but those who do, put up signs in their yards; " Daddy I love you" "Welcome home" "thank you" "the Hill's Angels can ride again!" "can you help my dad fix his car?" "Come over and take a look at my computer". Yellow ribbons and flags fluttered from every available post and pole. Can you imagine what that ride home must have meant to him?
Yesterday I received word that my Mother-in-law of 35 years was reunited with her Lord and her husband of many years. I have heard that when you enter the gates of heaven you are greeted by those who love you, God Himself, mate, mother, father, sister. I think her ride home was as thrilling as that soldier's. And it had to be a reunion of huge proportions. Countless numbers of people were touched by her.

She was a perfect mother-in-law. Accepting and loving and supportive in spite of my mistakes. When my marriage ended I called and asked if she would still be my Mom. She assured me that nothing would ever change between us.

She was most generous and practical . When she saw a need, she did what she could to meet it. Her door was always open, literally. So many people love her and will miss her.

the cedars

2008-03-16T16:21:00.000-07:00

I haven't been very inspired lately. Thus the fact that my last post was February 15th. I can't explain my funk for all of those days but, for the last 10 days I have had a cold. I easily fell into a pity party...poor me, I don't feel good. I should have stayed home from work for more than two days, like a week.

Anyway, I feel better today. I feel good enough to count my blessings and bake banana bread.

Cheyenne and I walked to my favorite spot this morning, a small grove of cedars about a mile away. Have you ever entered a place that took your breath away with it's holiness? That is what this haven of green is for me. Today there was the added bonus of a light fog, talk about mysical!

I stop, turn my face up, close my eyes and wait. I lose a sense of myself as this divine unity envelops me. When I finally I step out of the canopy of those blessed trees, I gaze back, reluctant to leave that safe place. Once more I have hope and am released from my worries. What a gift this small piece of land is.

You might skoff and say that it I am projecting my own desire for a holy ground, but my neighbor mentioned "the cedars" to me, one day. I took her implication that she too has found blessings there.

Barry Lopez described a similar experience. As he eloquently put it..."I experienced space and time as one....space and time penetrated each other. It could be reverence, I thought...the physical and emotional worlds were part of the same bolt of cloth, and I was embedded in this setting."

I'm pretty sure that we all have this gift presented to us and often. Go find yours.

books that have inspired me

2008-02-15T12:56:00.000-08:00

Books that have inspired me:

A Year by the Sea by Joan Anderson
anything by CS Lewis
Kitchen Table Wisdom by Rachel Naomi Remen
Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
Markings by Dag Hammarskjold
My Granfather's Blessing by Rachel Naomi Remen
Out of My Life and Thought by Albert Schweitzer
Prayer by Richard J Foster
The Blessing by Gary Smalley and John Trent
What's so Amazing about Grace by Philip Yancy

seize your time and make new

2008-02-15T11:19:00.000-08:00

I have dabbled in quilt making for a few years now. One day my son told me that he just didn't get it. " You take whole lengths of fabric, cut them up into pieces, then sew them together to get another whole fabric!" I laughed as I realized he was so right. But I can't resist. There are others who piece and quilt at a higher skill level than I. They inspire me onward.

Quilts offer comfort for the body and the soul. They are necessity art.Their creator evokes hope.

Author Marge Piercy wrote about a quilt made years before "...this quilt might be the only perfect artifact a woman would ever see, yet she did not doubt what we had forgotten, that out of her potatoes and colic, sawdust and blood, she could create; together, alone, she seized her time and made new.

I believe that every human ( maybe all creatures) has, at her/his core, the yearning to create. And I'm pretty sure that until each of us allows ourselves to express that pull of soul, we will experience an inner void, a sense of loss no matter how easy or hard life is.

Some of us can grow dahlias, repair a motorcycle, or arrange furniture. Making a sandwich has equal value with the gourmet dinner. A stick man walks as nobly as "masterpiece art". Find a bird, listen to his song, sketch or photograph him, build him a house, feed him. The vegetarian in me won't allow me to suggest that you cook him. :~)

Creativity is only limited by our thinking that we cannot. There is abundance within us all to make new, to create. Our ideas and potential emanate from our center.