not like we thought

I was restored after spending a few hours with good friends last night. There was laughter, tears and encouraging words. I am always inspired by these courageous and compassionate women. We come from different backgrounds and experiences, yet are kindred souls. To each other we reveal the layers of our days and marvel at the unanticipated, unplanned situations we find ourselves in.

On the drive home, as I contemplated our stories, the words floated across my mind, " Life wasn't supposed to be like this".

Our hopes and dreams are like birds perched on tree limbs, ready to take flight. But wait, here comes a bigger bird! Hang on, close your eyes, and hold your breath as the shadow passes. Exhale, open you eyes to a life that has changed.

I don't know if this is true, I read somewhere that when birds sleep their claws instinctively tighten around the branch so they won't fall. I think that when we humans get tossed or threatened we grab hold with our hearts. And that alone changes us, which brings change to someone else. And so it goes.

Back to my thought from last night. We think we have it all figured out, but that is an illusion. Things don't work out the way we thought they would. So then we have to decide, flap the wings for forward living or free fall into the muck at the bottom of this tree called life.

Whatever you choose, look for the good and acknowledge it. Sometimes that is all we can do.Thank you.

daily life on a journey

Dr. Timothy Johnson wrote, "if our daily life is only a small part of the journey, then shouldn't we be focusing on a much bigger picture than just our daily existence?" 

Add Schweitzer's words, "Reverence for life brings us into a spiritual relation with the world independent of all knowledge of the universe."

Daily living is the small step we take on a planet around a star in a galaxy. We are separated yet connected to a mystery, we journey together. 

My focus can be so small and centered on me. Yet when I allow myself to be open, that focus transforms into a joyful awareness ...we are all connected. Be it DNA or matter or some physics theory unknown as yet, the proven, unproven and the spiritual do a dance ...
we are all connected, plants, animals, dirt, stars, black holes.

I love the words, "be mindful". And it applies here; everything you do changes something else, somewhere else.

We become what we measure

"...The king was in the counting house, counting out his money..." 

Wish I had a kingdom 👑and needed a house for my riches. 

What a lovely thought. But what kind of life would I have  if the best part was sitting in the counting house?

Contrary to popular belief, keeping count will make us neither rich nor royal. What I have seen is, we tend to become what we measure. 

• How many hours, what was the score, calories eaten, dollars earned or spent, miles driven, temperature?

Keeping a running total is not a bad thing. There is satisfaction in making a goal, measuring progress and attaining the end.

Here is the rub, the focus and love of the "game " removes us from the essence of life. The nourishment and nectar is in the living.

If there is a pot of gold at the end of our rainbow 🌈, I hope I have the strength and wisdom to dance a joy dance, fill my pockets as full as I can and then get back to the journey. 

As Martin Luther King Jr said"...the means and the ends are inseparable".

$$$###1 2 3 4 ABCD

Do things that scare you

Eleanor Roosevelt said, "Do one thing every day that scares you".

Full disclosure; I am the biggest scared cat around. Just reading and internalizing those words makes me shiver. (note to self: here is the "thinking and doing" part you always talk about). I am thinking that there are different kinds of fear.

In my defense, I am brave at times. Some mornings just getting out from under my warm covers to face the day is frightening, but I do it. But doing something fearful every day? Oh Eleanor, I don't think I could.

There are things I have done in spite of my fear. I can remember many years ago I would hyperventilate if I had to make a business call or a doctors appointment...but I did it. I don't like to drive to an area that is unfamiliar and I have gotten lost doing it but I drive on. And there was the time I had to walk across a long train trestle with two toddlers in hand...I am afraid of heights and bridges!

Some people like to feel the adrenaline rush but I doubt that I will ever even bungee jump.

Someone once said "Take your fears to tea". To me that means more than doing what you don't want to do. Don't just sit across the tea table and converse. Turn the fear around and upside down and interview it. Many fears once faced turn out to be unfounded.

I once feared becoming a lonely old woman. I am now alone, an elderly woman, and I am just fine! At least that is what I tell myself!

The miracle of reading & writing

Many years ago I decided to read one chapter of a book every night before I turn out the bedside lamp. I am astounded at how many pages I have turned since I started! I even read the Bible cover to cover, twice . ..one chapter at a time.

I rarely miss a read...usually fiction. I find the chapters make life's noises recede, for a few minutes I can enter someone else's story and set aside my own. I started to jot down title and author, too. It is now an extensive list.

Another daily routine for me has been to write in a journal every day. There is a colorful array of sizes and colors of bound pages that tell my story.

I am sad to report that recently I have not been so diligent in that endeavor. In January I started to re-read my journals. I am disappointed in myself. It is like I lost a part of me... be it a memory, a fear, a joy.


If you are willing to try it I highly recommend the practice. Many healthcare professionals promote journaling.

The readings and journals bless me in three ways. The discipline grounds me in the moment. Going back, centers me all over again. Try it!

A poem

🖋

I think

best in ink

The paper awaits

As the pen sates

I can be a fool

With my doodles

Scribble

an inner quibble

For my eyes alone

Nothing needs to be written in stone

And onto this lined layer

My story, my poem, my prayer .