Mama Raccoon

There were some hot days in the Pacific Northwest this summer! I don't do well when the temperature gets over 90 and we have had consecutive days when it has been in 100's!

I came home a couple nights ago and gazed out my kitchen window. A raccoon who inhabits a few wooded acres bordering my back yard appeared under the bird feeder. I was surprised to see two new babies with her. As soon as she was sure they were busy eating sunflower seeds she lowered herself into the pan of water I keep for the animals. Poor thing had reached her limit, just like me!

We set up a small pool with water and the next afternoon they were back. She cooled herself and then made sure each baby was soaked. She just grabbed them and rolled them while they squealed.

It was endearing and life affirming. Parents take care of themselves so that they can take care of their little ones. We have to do our best with what is offered when we are at the mercy of weather and elements. Basic survival can be as simple as cooling off.

I look forward to witnessing the growing and training those cuties are in for. They already have personalities. One is adventurous and a risk taker, the other stays close to Mom.

not all problems are meant to be solved

It has been suggested to me: 

that not all problems are meant to be solved,

that we can walk around obstacles obstructing our way rather than moving the obstacle itself,

that troubles are often the product of behavior over time.

So I need to give this some thought. In earlier years I had the energy and determination and belief that I had to "do something" in order to overcome my troubles. 

• What if I had simply looked for a path that would circumvent that mountain?  
• How different would my circumstance be had I "taken the road less traveled"? 
•  Would I or my circumstance be better, improved?

Can I embrace this philosophy today? 

For example: my house is a mess and I keep thinking all I need is a block of time and energy to get it cleaned up. The thought literally sees it as a mountain to be moved...one boulder at a time. But boulders break, rocks crumble and then there is the sand to deal with.

What if I step to the right of Mt Calamity? 

Will there be a road sign pointing me in the direction of avoiding future piles of paper. The challenge calls out "change the habit or accept it"!

I am thinking I want to try this if for no other reason than I worry and fret too much. I would rather meet the day with eagerness instead of dread or regret. It could lead me into a wilderness but that would mean I needed an adventure, right?

Am I true to my purpose?

Every once in a while I have to do an inventory and ask myself if I am staying true to the purpose of this blog. Are the posts pointing back to a reverence of life ?

My original goal was to share my own life in my chosen path of loving and respecting the world I walk in. I will have to let my few readers determine my score since I can't see the forest for the trees I love so much.

Can one take her convictions too far? Have I become blind in my commitment to "practice what I preach", "to think and do" ?

I will share two instances in recent days that may confirm that I have gone over the edge.

• I was sitting in traffic, to my right over a small bridge a construction crew was pushing an Alder tree 🌳  over. When it cracked and fell, I felt a pain in my heart as if a part of me snapped with it.

• A feather 🪶  floated down from above, right in front of me as I was walking and contemplating life. Fresh from its giver, soft downy gray. As I held it I felt hopefully connected to this tough yet fragile world.

I have hit the ? key often in this post. While I do not doubt myself, I question if I go too far. And just as importantly, I question if I touch anyone with the words and thoughts that I throw into the ether.

not like we thought

I was restored after spending a few hours with good friends last night. There was laughter, tears and encouraging words. I am always inspired by these courageous and compassionate women. We come from different backgrounds and experiences, yet are kindred souls. To each other we reveal the layers of our days and marvel at the unanticipated, unplanned situations we find ourselves in.

On the drive home, as I contemplated our stories, the words floated across my mind, " Life wasn't supposed to be like this".

Our hopes and dreams are like birds perched on tree limbs, ready to take flight. But wait, here comes a bigger bird! Hang on, close your eyes, and hold your breath as the shadow passes. Exhale, open you eyes to a life that has changed.

I don't know if this is true, I read somewhere that when birds sleep their claws instinctively tighten around the branch so they won't fall. I think that when we humans get tossed or threatened we grab hold with our hearts. And that alone changes us, which brings change to someone else. And so it goes.

Back to my thought from last night. We think we have it all figured out, but that is an illusion. Things don't work out the way we thought they would. So then we have to decide, flap the wings for forward living or free fall into the muck at the bottom of this tree called life.

Whatever you choose, look for the good and acknowledge it. Sometimes that is all we can do.Thank you.

Do things that scare you

Eleanor Roosevelt said, "Do one thing every day that scares you".

Full disclosure; I am the biggest scared cat around. Just reading and internalizing those words makes me shiver. (note to self: here is the "thinking and doing" part you always talk about). I am thinking that there are different kinds of fear.

In my defense, I am brave at times. Some mornings just getting out from under my warm covers to face the day is frightening, but I do it. But doing something fearful every day? Oh Eleanor, I don't think I could.

There are things I have done in spite of my fear. I can remember many years ago I would hyperventilate if I had to make a business call or a doctors appointment...but I did it. I don't like to drive to an area that is unfamiliar and I have gotten lost doing it but I drive on. And there was the time I had to walk across a long train trestle with two toddlers in hand...I am afraid of heights and bridges!

Some people like to feel the adrenaline rush but I doubt that I will ever even bungee jump.

Someone once said "Take your fears to tea". To me that means more than doing what you don't want to do. Don't just sit across the tea table and converse. Turn the fear around and upside down and interview it. Many fears once faced turn out to be unfounded.

I once feared becoming a lonely old woman. I am now alone, an elderly woman, and I am just fine! At least that is what I tell myself!

The miracle of reading & writing

Many years ago I decided to read one chapter of a book every night before I turn out the bedside lamp. I am astounded at how many pages I have turned since I started! I even read the Bible cover to cover, twice . ..one chapter at a time.

I rarely miss a read...usually fiction. I find the chapters make life's noises recede, for a few minutes I can enter someone else's story and set aside my own. I started to jot down title and author, too. It is now an extensive list.

Another daily routine for me has been to write in a journal every day. There is a colorful array of sizes and colors of bound pages that tell my story.

I am sad to report that recently I have not been so diligent in that endeavor. In January I started to re-read my journals. I am disappointed in myself. It is like I lost a part of me... be it a memory, a fear, a joy.


If you are willing to try it I highly recommend the practice. Many healthcare professionals promote journaling.

The readings and journals bless me in three ways. The discipline grounds me in the moment. Going back, centers me all over again. Try it!